


like a fever ahead

by staticbees



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Episode: s01e15 Out of Time, Gen, a... really angsty 1k words, anyway! its a good song check it out, i swear this wont be my only contribution to this fandom, said song also contains the lyrics 'we're all gonna die' which is... fitting, the title and lyrics in the fic are from fourth of july by sufjan stevens, this was going to be a longer fic but it ended up as less than 1k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-14 23:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13018110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staticbees/pseuds/staticbees
Summary: In the 'Out Of Time' timeline, Caitlin finds Cisco after he dies at the hands of Eobard Thawne.





	like a fever ahead

_ The evil it spread like a fever ahead, _

_ It was night when you died, my firefly. _

_ What could I have said to raise you from the dead?  _

_ Oh could I be the sky on the fourth of July? _

 

The air tastes coppery and clinical, and Caitlin stiffens, staring into the room. She covers her mouth with her hands, eyes wide. “Oh my god, Cisco...” 

 

He’s crumpled in the middle of the room, completely still. She glances around, wild-eyed, but there’s no one else in the room, no other sounds, just the fluorescent lights humming overhead, and her own shallow, panicked breathing. She rushes over and kneels by Cisco’s body, frantically checking for a pulse. Her hands are shaking, and she pushes down her panic, trying to focus. He looks like he's been lying there for hours, but he could still be alive, could just be unconscious. It’s a futile hope, but she’ll take anything at this point. She presses her fingers to his wrist, his chest, his neck, desperately trying to find a heartbeat. There’s nothing. She rocks back on her heels, letting out a choked sob. She was never going to be able to save him, not after that long, but it hits her like a brick anyway. Cisco won’t be like Ronnie. He’s not coming back. He’s just…  _ gone _ . 

 

Cisco is lying on the ground with blank, staring eyes, but the expression frozen on his face looks more terrified than she's ever seen him. There's no wound, no way she can see that he could've died. As far as she knew, he is - was - perfectly healthy. She knows it has to be a metahuman, but not how they could've gotten into S.T.A.R. Labs, or why they had targeted Cisco specifically. 

 

She pulls out her phone with fumbling fingers, dials 911 with tears blurring her vision. Her voice is shaky, but she manages to explain where they are, and what happened. She is told, in a calm, collected voice, that the police will get there soon, and that she should just stay where she is until they arrive. 

 

She’s not going to listen, of course. She can't let the CCPD know S.T.A.R. Labs is working with meta-humans - least of all Central City’s very own superhero. If they found out, everything they worked for - everything Cisco worked for - would be gone, just like that. 

 

She gets up, legs shaky, and begins to move the Flash suit someplace the police won’t find it, movements on autopilot. She has a pounding headache, and her brain feels foggy and sluggish. _This can't be real. This can't be happening._ She feels distant, disconnected, like she’s been untethered from reality. She knows, dimly, that she's probably going into psychological shock, but it barely registers. 

 

When the police finally come, she gives short, clipped answers, not wanting to talk about Cisco’s death any more than she has to. Grief threatens to overwhelm her, but she pushes back her tears, focuses on what needs to be done. After about ten minutes of questions, they send her home so they can examine the crime scene. She almost protests, but she knows it’d probably be better for her to go back to her house rather than staying at S.T.A.R. Labs. 

 

Caitlin sits in her apartment, staring hesitantly at the cellphone in her hand. Her finger hovers over the call button, unwilling to actually press it. She’s not sure if she’s ready to have an actual, real-life phone conversation at this point, but… She closes her eyes, resigned. It’s not like she has any other choice. She  _ has _ to tell him. She can’t keep this from Barry, of all people. She takes a deep breath, and calls him. 

 

She doesn’t even get a chance to talk. Her phone rings for a split second before going to voicemail, and she swears under her breath. 

 

After a moment, she moves to leave a message, but freezes, words stuck in her throat. If she tells Barry - admits what happened to someone else who  _ knew him,  _ who  _ loved him _ \- it’ll make it real. It’ll mean it isn’t just a nightmare after all.  

 

“Barry, Cisco-” Her voice hitches. “Cisco is dead. We don’t know who, or what, killed him, but after I called you, I found him in S.T.A.R. Labs. He was already  _ dead,  _ Barry, and I don’t know-” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what to do. Wells is gone, you’re gone, and I don’t know where you two  _ are _ , but- just-  _ please,  _ Barry _. _ Call me back.” 

 

She hangs up and buries her face in a pillow, letting out a muffled sob. Tears run down her cheeks, and she wipes them away, staring at her wet fingertips. She’d seen plenty of deaths before. She’d helped to capture the murderers. It’d been horrifying, devastating, of  _ course _ , but she hadn’t been close to the victims. This… this was different. This had been someone close to her. Someone she had spent years with. She had loved Cisco like he was her own brother, and then, she had lost him in the blink of an eye, like he had never been there to begin with. 

 

She never even got to say goodbye. 


End file.
